How to stop your partner cheating on you.
Unfaithfulness breeds mistrust, it weakens your influence, brings you stress and anxiety as you are always trying to watch your back and remember your lies so that your story adds up, it wastes your time and money on fleeting pleasures, honorable friends detest you and abandon you, in bid to grab on to everything you lose everything, it kills any good in your legitimate relationship, hinders your prayer life, makes you defensive, makes your future uncertain, seems fun but only misleads you, leaves you empty, turns you away from God, corrupts your judgement, births other lies and wrongdoings, waters down your success, and if you have a child, it invites confusion and bitterness, drives you away from your children because you live in guilt.
For some people, cheating means an automatic break up. But others may still have feelings for their partner, and depending on the circumstances they may want to try and keep the relationship going. Your partner has to make the choice not to cheat, and you can’t control other people’s decisions.
Cheating has become daily issue in many relationship, we believe cheating can be reduce or stopped in a relationship. Have understand relationship shouldn’t base on cheating but should base on loyalty and faithfulness.
FIRST LET’S TALK ABOUT PRIMARY THINGS THAT CAN LEAD TO CHEATING
1. A lot of people are getting married for society, for their parents, because they had a baby together or just to be called husband and wife. This rush into marriage or getting married for the wrong reasons will lead you to struggle to be faithful as you married a stranger or someone you don’t connect with. A connection can be worked on if you both are willing.
2. The key component of a relationship / marriage is companionship. If you don’t attend to your partner’s emotional needs, someone else who values your partner more will be willing to do so. Most affairs start as an emotional bond. Cultivate emotional intimacy between you two, communicate warmly and often, don’t push your partner away. Create no vacuum.
3. An ex that you were exually involved with can be a huge threat to your marriage, especially if you didn’t fully end things. You will find yourself running to him/her when things between you and your spouse are bad, and due to history, things can get intimate very quick. Close the door to your past. If you are weak, block your ex. Don’t let your spouse who is your present and future, be uncomfortable about your past.
4. Some people get so disappointed that their spouse accuses them of cheating so they go on to cheat to prove their spouse right. This solves nothing but compounds problems in marriage. If you know you are innocent, assure your spouse to help deal with his/her fears and insecurities.
5. Some people give up on their marriage too easily and quickly and once you have emotionally checked out, your body will yield to other people’s bodies. Marriage is not for quitters. Don’t be irrational, quiting your marriage then wanting it back.
6. A lot of affairs by good hearted people start as a genuine desire to help someone of the opposite gender, only for romantic feelings to develop because the helper and the one being helped start to feel needed. It is good to help but when you help someone of the opposite gender, involve your spouse.
7. Some people become unfaithful because their spouse was/is unfaithful. You might think that you are punishing your spouse but actually you are stooping low as you abandon your principles. Just because you are hurt doesn’t mean you go out of character. Don’t let your spouse’s mistakes make you become who you are not.
IF YOUR PARTNER START CHEATING, FOLLOW THE ISSUES THIS WAYS
1. Don’t tell the whole world about his infidelity. It’s natural to want to confide in somebody about your husband’s affair, or rally friends and family to your side. But be very cautious about who you tell. The female friend you confide in could turn out to be the “other woman” Make sure you’re confiding in someone you know you can trust. Confiding in a male friend about your husband’s affair could complicate the situation. There are men out there who take advantage of women when they’re in a vulnerable state. Telling your husband’s friends or family may not produce the results you want. They might not take you seriously, or they may lie, make excuses for him, take his side, or warn him to cover his tracks. Confiding in your own family and friends can eventually come back to haunt you. Elephants aren’t the only ones who never forget. Some people have a tendency to remember unpleasant events long after they’ve been resolved. If you and your husband decide to reconcile, they could make things difficult by harboring anger and hostility toward him for what he did to you. Or they may show resentment toward you for taking him back. Exercise caution in who you tell about your husband’s affair.
2. Don’t waste your time and energy on the other woman. One of the worst things you can do is become obsessed with the other woman. It’s natural for you to be curious about her, but she’s not worth your time and energy.
Repeatedly questioning your husband about her, referring to her or dragging her name into the conversation puts the spotlight on her instead of on the real issues where it belongs.
Don’t obsess over the details of what happened between the two them.
Concentrate on working things out between the two of you.
Do not humiliate or frustrate yourself by calling or confronting the other woman and demanding that she leave your husband alone. She’s not obligated to take orders from you. Harassing her or threatening her will put you on the wrong side of the law.
Name calling, criticizing or belittling the her will only make your husband come to her defense. You’ll be driving them closer together instead of forcing them apart
Forget about the other woman and focus your energy and efforts on getting your marriage back on track.
3. Don’t put him out or leave him yet. Instead of your first move, putting your husband out or leaving him should be your last resort. You may eventually decide to do this, but for now, it’s the worst thing you can do. Right now you need to keep a close eye on what’s going on. It’ll be easier to do that if the two of you are still living under the same roof. If you put him out or leave, you’ll be hard pressed to know what he’s doing, short of hiring an investigator. As long as you’re still together, you can keep your finger on the pulse of his affair and gather some much needed facts. There’s a lot you need to know about the situation before you can make an intelligent decision about what to do. Continue monitoring your husband’s activities, attitude, the frequency of his contact with his lover and any other details concerning his affair. Write everything down in a journal for future use. Also bear in mind that as long as he’s still there, you have a chance to work things out.
4. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to give in to jealousy. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it not only this means that you don’t have enough trust in the relationship but sometimes it can actually push your partner into an affair. If you keep asking him/her about an particular co-worker or neighbor or pointing out how attractive he/she is, even if your partner had not noticed the person before, he/she may start giving the person a second glance now and who knows what may follow. Remember that like every other individual, your partner too is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. So interrogating him every time he is out having a drink or demanding why you got his voice mail so late at night, is as unhealthy for your peace of mind as it is potentially fatal to your relationship. Likewise avoid making empty allegations. Both you and are your partner are entitled to have a full fledged social life and just because you are away from each other does not mean that you have to shut yourself out from society. Worst of all, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.
5. Use creativity in finding ways to prevent cheating in your marriage. Cheating will only occur if one of the marital partners experiences dissatisfaction, so make having a good time, nurturing your relationship and loving with all your heart your priorities.
6. Refuse to spend any time alone with a member of the opposite sex. Even if you feel happy in your marriage and strong enough to resist temptation, spending alone time with a member of the opposite sex may lead to poor decisions. Stay away from anyone about whom you may have fantasized in particular, so that the temptation does not overwhelm and encourage you to give in to your feelings.
7. Figuring out exactly why you’re being unfaithful could help you solve the problem at the root of your cheating habit. Identifying what drives your cheating can be an important part of conquering the urge to stray, try to make your current relationship into what you need it to be in order to stay faithful.
8. To stop cheating, It is a fact that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship.
9. If you’re looking to improve your current relationship, make sure you’re communicating well with your partner about what you need out of the relationship.
10. Finally your strongest resource in surviving temptations will be having faith in the relationship, doing your bit to keep your relationship exciting will go a long way in helping you to avoid affairs and allow you to enjoy your relationship whole heartedly.